I remember, quite vividly, a certain prayer that will never leave my mind or heart.
It was a few weeks after Sadie went Home, Michael jumped in bed and softly spoke that it was prayer time.
Dear God, I know it has to be like this, but I don’t know why it has to be like this.
My stomach hit the floor along with my tears. I whispered a quick prayer of my own Lord, please give me the words to comfort him.
I’m not sure what was said after that, but then I heard, “Amen.”
I got it together and looked into the innocent eyes of a six year old, and I ran my hand through his hair and told him, “Michael, I feel the same way. I, too, don’t know why it has to be like this, BUT I do know that it will be okay because God tells us it will be.”
He didn’t skip a beat… he got up, smiled, hugged me, said, Okay! I love you, Momma! and laid down.
You don’t just walk away from a prayer and conversation like that. It’s bittersweet. The bitterness comes from the fact that no six year old should have to try to sift through those thoughts and feelings. The sweetness of the prayer simply comes from the fact that the boys are seeing God’s hand in our family’s life- the good and hard times. They understand that God is in control and understands that it has to be this way because God is the one who is in control. And it WILL be okay- not all the time- most of the time.
Tonight, five months later, Michael’s prayer was this:
Dear God, thank you for everything. Thank you that we get to see Sadie again. Thank you that you tell us she’ll be in Heaven where we can see her again.
My heart smiled. Those sweet prayers help me see the bigger picture of it all:
Have your heard the little prayers that come out of the mouth of babes?
Those little prayers out of little mouths hold BIG meaning… even for BIG people.