Taking a family picture is hard let alone a mini session, yet we've always said life can't stop after Sadie's passing.
--So what does that look like?--
Many questions run through my mind...
What do I do with these pictures? How do I share/post pictures without Sadie in them? Will I send out cards this year? How will I continue to do this each year? And so many more.
Then, the day we took these pictures, there was a family having a gender reveal... it was a girl.
Why us? Why me? Why a girl? Why NOW? God, could that not have waited? Don't you think I bear enough weight each day?
As I feel the pink confetti taunting me, I hear the enemy, "This is their 4th girl, and God took away your ONE, and you STILL want to give Him glory and praise?!"
I ask, "God, how do I keep pushing forward? It's been 18 months. That's it. 18 months, and I still have a lifetime to go?"
Truth is... it's easier to be jaded. It's easier to feel victimized. It's easier to feel sorry for ourselves. That is what the enemy wants.
True strength comes from Him. It's choosing to use your pain as power, as a platform, as a source of fuel to help others and share our story when God opens doors or connects us to people.
So, what's the answer, friends?
I'm not 100% sure, and I feel like that is carefully crafted by our wonderful maker. If we have the answer, we wouldn't seek Him, and we wouldn't rely on Him to get us through each day. That is His desire... true reliance on Him, 24/7.
I will never get my "whys" answered & that has to be enough on this side of Heaven.
True peace and contentment comes from Him and what he still blesses me with on Earth. That, my friends, can be found in these pictures: - Still a family of 5- just in a different form - Still finding joy in my 3 boys - Still choosing to praise Him in this storm.
The enemy can take a hold of you with your weakness and brokenness. It's up to us to continue to cling to Him in our weakest times and desperate cries.
That is how we will make it. That is how we will continue to walk knowing He's leading us, and we are #onedaycloser to an eternity with our Savior and Sadie Girl.