I Will Answer
“Before they call I will answer; while they are still speaking I will hear.”
I have shared bits and pieces of God’s goodness and how God answered before we called. One day, I’d love to write our story- day by day- to show the physicality of God when many would find it hard to see him. But sometimes, when we don’t think we see him, that’s where He shines the brightest.
The more time that goes by, I am able to see how God lined up everything/everyone He knew we would need.
I've talked about Jeff and Mackenzie Rollins to many of my friends and family, and they are amazing people with a their own sweet family who we have come to love and adore in both our tragedies. I'm not sure how they came to find out about The Accident, but when she reached out to me and gave me some background from their life, I remembered their story immediately. Jeff and Mackenzie have two boys, and they had lost their three month old daughter, Zoe, to SIDS three years prior. I was in the car on the way to the funeral home staring aimlessly to the sky when I received her message.
Mackenzie's message was strangely so clear and what I had been needing to hear. I remember her comforting message as to how she understood losing a daughter after the “boy mom” life, but what she wrote next was what I longing to hear. She said:
Through this all, I promise, THERE IS LIFE ON THE OTHER SIDE. And not just the surviving kind, the abundant kind.
These were the sentences I read over and over again. It was as if I was speaking it into truth. Because as much as I wanted to believe it, it felt impossible; I was already defeated. I needed HOPE, and I needed to know that I could walk out of the flames and not be burned. I needed to know that I could still live this life even though I never chose it.
God used Mackenzie.
She and her family ended up back in Spring, Texas a few months before they were planning on coming back. God had answered BEFORE I called. Had he not, they would have still been in Ecuador when we lost Sadie; unable to physically help walk with us through this journey.
Mackenzie and I are good friends as well as our families. We get together often, and we have support- within eachother. From this friendship, Trent and I have been able to help in a brand new non-profit, Hope Family Care, that Jeff and Mackenzie began.
Hope Family Care birthed Hope Bags which I am passionate about.
Hope Bags were put on my heart as Sadie’s birthday was approaching as well as the anxiety of what to do. From there, the Hope Bag Party #4Sadie was created.
I would like to celebrate her by helping other families in their walk. I would love if you could be a part of that as well!
Here are the ways to help honor Sadie and support others:
Donate a bag in honor of Sadie or another child whose time was cut short
Help write scripture
Come to Sadie’s party to put bags together on 1/18. There will be food and good people
Pray for families, Hope Family Care and its future, as well as my family as we approach Sadie’s 3rd birthday without her here
Feel free to do one or all. I hold all of these on the same platform-- there is not one that is “better” than the other. Each one of these will have a BIG impact on a family’s life.
Listed below, explains what comes in each HOPE bag; under each piece is how it helped me through the beginning stages of grief. I’d like to share this with you in hopes that it gives you an “inside” look as to how this helped me and could help another family.
One Year Book of HOPE devotional
This is written by Nancy Guthrie who lost two children. She walks with grace through grief. Something I hope I’m able to show one day.
HOPE journal and pen
Writing was (and still is) therapeutic for me. It was a way to get my thoughts, frustrations, questions, and prayers on paper. It was a way the clear my head that was drowning in the darkness.
Well, I couldn’t stop crying. ;)
A handwritten note
To know someone is praying for you, and/or understands the road that feels so lonely at first, means more than anything anyone could know.
A flyer from Hope Family Care
Support from others who know what it feels like.
A collection of encouraging scripture
I was given this from a friend’s wife. I had never met her, but they too had lost a child around 20 weeks. She had a small booklet of scripture to help in the days where this life just felt unfair and personal. She gave me this booklet, and I read it like a book… over and over again. It had the scripture and the verses- one on each page. This booklet led me back to Him when the physicality of the world seemed to drown me.