The HOPE in Rising Up After Loss
Do me a favor, and listen to the song, by Andra Day, “Rise Up.” Then, come back to me…
Even if we’re “broken down and tired,” we rise up every day. When we rise, we all have different perspectives and feelings as we ready ourselves to face what’s ahead. How do you feel in your rising: Cheerful? Bitter? Grateful? Hopeful? Troubled? Whether joy or dread, the Lord allowed you to wake up to face the day. So, I hope you choose to put on the invisible armor with me and take on the day with Him… no matter what.
The song “Rise Up” was one that had grabbed me by the heart after I lost Sadie. As I was processing the words I tried to make sense of why it was tugging at my heart. By the chorus, I heard the ache in her voice, yet the strength that she could move the mountain she was referencing. She had HOPE as she was singing. As I was singing in my car about a month ago, there was a line that struck me, “I will rise up/in spite of the ache.” Immediately, this song had a whole new meaning… it is what I do each day. I “rise up” even though I feel “broken down and tired.”
“When the silence isn’t quiet.”
Many of the mommies I’ve met have lost little ones around Sadie’s age (2). We all know the sounds that the young and innocent produce… the deep belly laughs of pure joy, the broken words and phrases that were puzzles we had to put together, the grunts of dissatisfaction of not getting their way. No matter the noise, those were the sounds that would fill our hearts with love. However, since we’ve lost Sadie, “the silence isn’t quiet.”. Where I use to sit in peace and quiet to gather my thoughts, I now hear myself scream Trent’s name after I saw Sadie get struck, I hear the boys shriek and yell, “Is she okay? Is Sadie dead?” I hear the sirens, I hear the chaos of neighbors and strangers. I hear what people say about the accident. I hear how people say about the struggles of parenting. I hear the enemy tell me it’s my fault. I hear the Lord tell me I have sweet Sadie in my sight, and she’s perfect.
There is no peace in the quiet of those who’ve lost a child. Just the haunting sounds of loss.
To my fellow mommies with deafening silence and broken hearts like mine--
I see the fighter in you... “so we gonna walk it out, and move mountains” for HIM!
“All we need is HOPE, and for that we have each other.”
All the mommas who have lost their babies flooded my mind; I started to cry. We are a part of a club that no one wants to be a part of, yet so many people are. This group is probably the strongest group I’ve ever seen. The loyalty, the realness, the truth, and the stories are harder than anyone should have to live through, yet there is more support than anything I’ve ever seen. The friends I have made in the loss of Sadie has struck a bond in people whom I would never have known. I’m blessed to have them in my life. No matter where anyone is in their journey, we keep each other afloat on bad days. We have crossed paths for a reason, and for that, we have each other.
Keep Rising Up to move mountains for Him.